May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
