I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
