Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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