Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
