Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
