my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
