I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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