nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
