Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
