he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
