I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
