I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
