Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
