What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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