I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
