so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
