Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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