brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize