one might say we're banned from that church
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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