you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
