It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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