Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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