So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
