Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
