So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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