were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
