If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize