All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
