I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize