i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
