Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
