How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
