then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she peed on how many people?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize