i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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