We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
