My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
