Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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