it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
