I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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