I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
