"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
