I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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