I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
