I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Success! We fucked roommates!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
