i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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