Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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