just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
