dude i'm inner monologue high
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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