Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
