I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
