Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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