I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
