he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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