I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My vagina is officially offended.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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