Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
