Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
