Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
