this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
